The Psychology of Unspoken Love (V3)

In the first volume of this series, two chapters were presented: Introduction and Early Signs of Unspoken Love.
In the relatively detailed introduction to the book, topics of “Theoretical and Research Literature on Unspoken Love,” “Reasons for Keeping Unspoken Love Unspoken,” “How Unspoken Love Forms,” and “Reflection on Field Study of Unspoken Love” were discussed. In the second chapter, relying on field findings, early signs of unspoken love were examined as follows:
Readiness for experiencing the wondrous phenomenon of love, sudden emergence of unspoken love, emergence of some biological changes upon encountering the beloved, prominent role of excitement in forming unspoken loves, transformative power of unspoken love, experiencing different emotions, being awestruck by the greatness of love, gaining delicacy in the flow of unspoken love, seeing the universe beautifully, experiencing a type of mysticism, increased courage and boldness in passionate lovers, inclination toward poetry and literature, greater attention to environmental factors, idealistic perception of the beloved, projecting one’s mental ideals onto the beloved, wishful perception, love’s mobilizing effect, feeling joy and delight, interest in remaining in the seat of coquetry, interest in meeting the beloved, efforts to attract the beloved’s attention, efforts to spend time together with the beloved, setting aside pride when facing the beloved, fantasizing, initial doubts and efforts to deny love, minimal knowledge of the beloved, and other cases.
In the second volume of Unspoken Love, the symptoms of this love that manifest in the middle of the road of love were examined. The topics discussed in the middle of the road of Unspoken Love were as follows:
Continuation of some biological changes upon encountering the beloved, emergence of some biological signs in the absence of the beloved, (continuation of) experiencing different emotions, (continuation of) gaining delicacy in the flow of unspoken love, seeing the universe even more beautifully, experiencing a type of mysticism, self-sacrifice for the beloved, increased courage and boldness, feeling unity with the beloved, desire to marry the beloved, increased creativity, inclination toward romantic literature, literary flourishing and inclination toward arts, memoir-writing, imaginary letter-writing, continued greater attention to environmental factors, inclination toward introversion, continuation of love’s energizing effect, continuation of love’s mobilizing effect, arousal of competitive spirit with the beloved, increased motivation, enhanced purposefulness in life, improved self-confidence in those involved in love, attention to the beloved’s personality attractions, (continuation of) attention to the beloved’s physical attractions, remaining awestruck by the beloved, reduced self-control in front of the beloved, interest in meeting the beloved, planning to meet the beloved, feeling peace, security, and pleasure near the beloved, efforts to find an excuse to meet the beloved, ignoring other members of the opposite sex, restlessness in the beloved’s absence, experiencing passion and delight upon the beloved’s attention, efforts to attract the beloved’s attention, worry about one’s own insufficient physical attractiveness, efforts to adorn oneself more beautifully, resorting to coquetry and flirtation before the beloved, efforts to perfect oneself more completely, expending extensive energy to prepare for meetings, efforts to remain in the seat of coquetry, efforts to censor one’s romantic emotions and feelings, endeavors to apply censorship in one’s logical conclusions, efforts to get closer to the beloved, pursuing clever interactions to achieve one’s goals, efforts to open a path to the beloved’s mother’s heart, indirect expressions of love, efforts to mislead before the beloved, friends, and family, praising and sanctifying the beloved, sanctification, preparing gifts for the beloved, efforts to care for the beloved, cautious behavior with the beloved to avoid hurting them, joy from the beloved’s attention, nervousness upon seeing the beloved, speech disruption when talking to the beloved, interest in conversing with the beloved, desire to talk about the beloved with others, thinking of the beloved, dreaming of the beloved, collecting and recording the beloved’s memories, voice, and image; keeping mementos from the beloved, memorable experiences, efforts to know the person of interest better, feeling a peak experience when meeting the beloved, resorting to the sixth sense, maximal reaction to minor behaviors, attention to the beloved’s behavioral details, fantasizing about marriage and life together with the beloved, pursuing some symbolic behaviors, modeling the beloved in formal behavioral and value dimensions, creating a sense of dependency on the beloved, discovering some inner capacities, the role of friends in each other’s unspoken love, efforts to find common ground with the beloved, endeavors to progress in various fields, maternal behavior toward the person of interest, breaking one’s pride for love, deepening unspoken love over time, wasting time, pursuing clever behaviors toward the beloved, displaying the powerful decoding ability of the feminine gender in communicative relations and unspoken love, loss of the superior decoding ability of the feminine gender when facing intense excitements, efforts to emotionally vent, fear of self, others’ reactions, and one’s future, considering attention to other opposite-sex individuals as betrayal, considering relationships with others as betrayal, considering accepting suitors and marriage as betrayal, emergence of romantic obsessions, prioritizing personality over physical attraction, prominent role of sexual issues in masculine unspoken love, desire for sexual relations with the beloved, enduring psychological pressure from role-playing and misdirection before others, experiencing emotional turbulences, accepting to auction one’s reputation to reach the beloved, longing and worry for the beloved, engraving the beloved’s memories in the mind, feeling jealousy and possessiveness over the beloved, efforts to present oneself better in virtual space, tracking the beloved in virtual space, indirectly testing the beloved, reduced and lost focus, (continuation of) idealistic perception, danger of projecting one’s ideals onto the beloved, wishful and directed perception, disruption in perceiving the passage of time, experiencing forgetting one’s situation and statements, self-extinction, self-deception, disruption in performing individual and social duties, disruption in family relations, efforts to deceive the family, family intervention in the child’s unspoken love, increased intensity of love due to the family’s irrational opposition, humiliation by the beloved, resorting to humiliating actions to get closer to the beloved, fear of rivals emerging, sensitivity and jealousy toward rivals, feeling ill at the thought of rivals, feeling hostility toward potential rivals, creating doubts mid-path in unspoken love, sorrowful exit from one’s fantasies upon encountering the real world, feeling trapped in a dead end, confusion, irritability and sensitivity, feeling tired of bearing the heavy load of love, confusion of modern girls and women when facing traditional men, suspension of thinking and rationality amid emotional turmoil, not seeing each other’s moral and doctrinal differences, relative feelings of fear and anxiety, emergence of severe mood swings, anger toward the beloved, escaping thoughts of failure by seeking refuge in ambiguity and suspense, problems from lacking a codified value system, being exploited by the beloved, resorting to slander and cursing the beloved, formation of some reverse reactions, remaining in conflict between reason and emotion, admitting to irrational and insane behaviors, gradual realization by the lover of the beloved’s flaws, lover’s desire to ignore the beloved’s flaws, lover’s readiness to spend for their unspoken love, becoming less or more talkative, lack of sufficient knowledge as the greatest danger, experiencing a type of delusion, emergence of some physical problems, shock from the possibility of losing the beloved, emergence of some psychological disorders, seeking refuge in God, greater attention to prayer and religious acts, resorting to vows and supplications, distancing from God, seeking refuge in superstitions, resorting to substance abuse for temporary calm, and other cases.
In the third volume of the Unspoken Love series, the final signs of this love are discussed. The titles are as follows:
Rational confrontation with one’s unspoken love, prioritizing heavenly love over earthly love, developing a transcendent view of love and losing interest in superficial emotional relations, finding peace by seeking refuge in God, turning to God, transforming individual love into communal love, reporting a type of growth, achieving self-critique, self-knowledge, and self-improvement; increased seriousness and purposefulness in the individual, optimal use of bitter experiences from the unspoken love period, elevating future selection criteria, replacing emotions with logic, feeling liberation and freedom from mental entanglements, considering oneself worthy of admiration, efforts to preserve memories of the beloved, feeling happy, changing the direction of attention, seeking help from a psychologist, realizing the beloved’s flaws, long-term continuation of biological signs in unspoken love, seeking spiritual treatments, self-control stemming from a coherent value system, pursuing self-talk and self-suggestion, welcoming art therapy, pursuing occupational therapy, psychological venting, environmental separation, feeling tired of one-sided love and welcoming two-sided love, preventing rekindling of the relationship after both parties marry, effect of the passage of time, changes and transformations in the concept of love, incredulous confrontation with the failure of one’s unspoken love, seeing the universe as ugly and dark, the power of love, denial of self-extinction, diminution of the lover’s emotions and feelings after the beloved’s marriage, transforming idealistic perception to anti-idealistic, losing empathy and becoming indifferent to others’ pain and suffering, feeling sadness, anger, and rage toward the beloved; feeling loss due to excess in remaining in coquetry, feeling persistent fatigue, feeling fed up with new emotional relationships, disillusionment and loss of marriage enthusiasm, realization of selfish love, emergence of doctrinal transformations in the lover, protesting against the Creator, loss of false growth, loss of self-confidence, feeling loss of many life opportunities, becoming pessimistic about love, pessimistic toward the opposite sex, cynicism and distrust toward the same sex, pursuing reactionary behaviors, regretting improper family intervention, circumventing and deceiving the family, slandering and cursing the lost beloved, transforming love into hatred, self-entanglement, experiencing severe mood swings, girls’ confusion, remaining in the beloved’s romantic world, loss of one’s emotional capital, dominance of coldness over life, reaching emotional numbness, making hasty and incorrect decisions, disruption in performing duties, resorting to substance abuse, distraction and forgetfulness, feeling regret, expecting a miracle, wishing the beloved remains single forever, wishing for one’s own death after the beloved’s marriage, wishing for the beloved’s divorce or spouse’s death, confronting some psychological disorders, entanglement in suicidal or homicidal thoughts, and other cases.
In the final chapter of the third volume, we examine the transformation of love in the contemporary world. By integrating key research findings, the chapter provides necessary solutions for optimally addressing unspoken love and managing the dynamics of modern romance. The relevant topics are discussed below.